Author: uberbudgie





I dream that I'm behind the house of an aunt that

died this last weekend; a 1910 era ranch-style house in this agricultural region of CA, sitting in

a heavy cardboard box, next to the Camillias

I remembered her pruning, when I was a

clumsy tomboyish child who liked pretty things

but had a way of breaking stuff.



I'm dressed in very worn sk8tor blue jeans with

a mini scarf over pigtail braids, curled up real

small in the box, holding a favorite stuffed

animal (this California quail I had as a three

year old that somehow disappeared during

grade school -- oddly, it was the first article

that I used to express feelings of unrest and disfuntionality to my family with).



The whole mood inside the house doesn't

seem right somehow, it feels like Fourth

of July gatherings that my aunt and her

son used to host at this house, not a funeral reception. And the pool is full of water.



The pool needs work; it shouldn't be full of sparkling blue water. They probably fixed

to pool for the realtors.



And I know that the house is going to be

sold due to the whole estate tax bullshit -- I'm worried for my cousin, (her son), I'm just

kinda pissed off about everything, waiting for

my head to clear, trying to avoid everyone

when a bunch of my friends walk outside

and around the back towards me. What are

they doing here? Hardly anyone I know has

met any family member of mine other than my

dad.



I slink further into the box and try to close

the box around me.



Then my relatives come out looking for me;

someone has to blow the candles out on

the cake and it's not my birthday but they are looking for me. People are carrying these

huge plates of green jello around with them;

and I realize it's not a reception or a

birthday, it's an inauguration. Why the hell

do they want me now?



Nobody thinks to look in the box. I start to

eat the inside of the box, pulling it in and

it crinkles like wax butcher paper. I'm in a

cardboard cocoon like some mutant

warehouse moth. I keep waiting for everyone

to leave, I keep waiting for everyone to leave.



I can't see but I can hear them, and someone

sets the box on fire. I stay put, preferring to

deal with the consequences of fire than to

leave my box and deal with everyone else.

July People

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