IX. THE ARTIST'S SECRET.
I. THE LOST JOY.
II. THE HUNTER.
IV. IN A FAR-OFF WORLD.
V. THREE DREAMS IN A DESERT.
VI. A DREAM OF WILD BEES.
VII. IN A RUINED CHAPEL.
VIII. LIFE'S GIFTS.
IX. THE ARTIST'S SECRET.
X. "I THOUGHT I STOOD."
Dreams

Elephant
standing in in field with a boy named Death,
The day he cared
Back In Bham
Theft
blast from the past
Two Instances of Lucidity
First kiss.
part five
stab me in the arm?
Suicide
Sanctuary in sore gums
you said what?
With Crossed Fingers I Lie
evaluation
Weird school dream
Singing
bike night
Old Boyfriend
dead grandma
dream sad
a nightmare
i love you, fuck me.
the caribbean
burn

Author: Olive Schreiner





Under a Mimosa-Tree.As I travelled across an African plain the sun shone down hotly. Then Idrew my horse up under a mimosa-tree, and I took the saddle from him andleft him to feed among the parched bushes. And all to right and to leftstretched the brown earth. And I sat down under the tree, because the heatbeat fiercely, and all along the horizon the air throbbed. And after awhile a heavy drowsiness came over me, and I laid my head down against mysaddle, and I fell asleep there. And, in my sleep, I had a curious dream.I thought I stood on the border of a great desert, and the sand blew abouteverywhere. And I thought I saw two great figures like beasts of burden ofthe desert, and one lay upon the sand with its neck stretched out, and onestood by it. And I looked curiously at the one that lay upon the ground,for it had a great burden on its back, and the sand was thick about it, sothat it seemed to have piled over it for centuries.And I looked very curiously at it. And there stood one beside me watching.And I said to him, "What is this huge creature who lies here on the sand?"And he said, "This is woman; she that bears men in her body."And I said, "Why does she lie here motionless with the sand piled roundher?"And he answered, "Listen, I will tell you! Ages and ages long she has lainhere, and the wind has blown over her. The oldest, oldest, oldest manliving has never seen her move: the oldest, oldest book records that shelay here then, as she lies here now, with the sand about her. But listen!Older than the oldest book, older than the oldest recorded memory of man,on the Rocks of Language, on the hard-baked clay of Ancient Customs, nowcrumbling to decay, are found the marks of her footsteps! Side by sidewith his who stands beside her you may trace them; and you know that shewho now lies there once wandered free over the rocks with him."And I said, "Why does she lie there now?"And he said, "I take it, ages ago the Age-of-dominion-of-muscular-forcefound her, and when she stooped low to give suck to her young, and her backwas broad, he put his burden of subjection on to it, and tied it on withthe broad band of Inevitable Necessity. Then she looked at the earth andthe sky, and knew there was no hope for her; and she lay down on the sandwith the burden she could not loosen. Ever since she has lain here. Andthe ages have come, and the ages have gone, but the band of InevitableNecessity has not been cut."And I looked and saw in her eyes the terrible patience of the centuries;the ground was wet with her tears, and her nostrils blew up the sand.And I said, "Has she ever tried to move?"And he said, "Sometimes a limb has quivered. But she is wise; she knowsshe cannot rise with the burden on her."And I said, "Why does not he who stands by her leave her and go on?"And he said, "He cannot. Look--"And I saw a broad band passing along the ground from one to the other, andit bound them together.He said, "While she lies there he must stand and look across the desert."And I said, "Does he know why he cannot move?"And he said, "No."And I heard a sound of something cracking, and I looked, and I saw the bandthat bound the burden on to her back broken asunder; and the burden rolledon to the ground.And I said, "What is this?"And he said, "The Age-of-muscular-force is dead. The Age-of-nervous-forcehas killed him with the knife he holds in his hand; and silently andinvisibly he has crept up to the woman, and with that knife of MechanicalInvention he has cut the band that bound the burden to her back. TheInevitable Necessity it broken. She might rise now."And I saw that she still lay motionless on the sand, with her eyes open andher neck stretched out. And she seemed to look for something on the far-off border of the desert that never came. And I wondered if she were awakeor asleep. And as I looked her body quivered, and a light came into hereyes, like when a sunbeam breaks into a dark room.I said, "What is it?"He whispered "Hush! the thought has come to her, 'Might I not rise?'"And I looked. And she raised her head from the sand, and I saw the dentwhere her neck had lain so long. And she looked at the earth, and shelooked at the sky, and she looked at him who stood by her: but he lookedout across the desert.And I saw her body quiver; and she pressed her front knees to the earth,and veins stood out; and I cried; "She is going to rise!"But only her sides heaved, and she lay still where she was.But her head she held up; she did not lay it down again. And he beside mesaid, "She is very weak. See, her legs have been crushed under her solong."And I saw the creature struggle: and the drops stood out on her.And I said, "Surely he who stands beside her will help her?"And he beside me answered, "He cannot help her: she must help herself. Let her struggle till she is strong."And I cried, "At least he will not hinder her! See, he moves farther fromher, and tightens the cord between them, and he drags her down."And he answered, "He does not understand. When she moves she draws theband that binds them, and hurts him, and he moves farther from her. Theday will come when he will understand, and will know what she is doing. Let her once stagger on to her knees. In that day he will stand close toher, and look into her eyes with sympathy."And she stretched her neck, and the drops fell from her. And the creaturerose an inch from the earth and sank back.And I cried, "Oh, she is too weak! she cannot walk! The long years havetaken all her strength from her. Can she never move?"And he answered me, "See the light in her eyes!"And slowly the creature staggered on to its knees.And I awoke: and all to the east and to the west stretched the barrenearth, with the dry bushes on it. The ants ran up and down in the redsand, and the heat beat fiercely. I looked up through the thin branches ofthe tree at the blue sky overhead. I stretched myself, and I mused overthe dream I had had. And I fell asleep again, with my head on my saddle.And in the fierce heat I had another dream.I saw a desert and I saw a woman coming out of it. And she came to thebank of a dark river; and the bank was steep and high. (The banks of anAfrican river are sometimes a hundred feet high, and consist of deepshifting sands, through which in the course of ages the river has worn itsgigantic bed.) And on it an old man met her, who had a long white beard;and a stick that curled was in his hand, and on it was written Reason. Andhe asked her what she wanted; and she said "I am woman; and I am seekingfor the land of Freedom."And he said, "It is before you."And she said, "I see nothing before me but a dark flowing river, and a banksteep and high, and cuttings here and there with heavy sand in them."And he said, "And beyond that?"She said, "I see nothing, but sometimes, when I shade my eyes with my hand,I think I see on the further bank trees and hills, and the sun shining onthem!"He said, "That is the Land of Freedom."She said, "How am I to get there?"He said, "There is one way, and one only. Down the banks of Labour,through the water of Suffering. There is no other."She said, "Is there no bridge?"He answered. "None."She said, "Is the water deep?"He said, "Deep."She said, "Is the floor worn?"He said, "It is. Your foot may slip at any time, and you may be lost."She said, "Have any crossed already?"He said, "Some have tried!"She said, "Is there a track to show where the best fording is?"He said, "It has to be made."She shaded her eyes with her hand; and she said, "I will go."And he said, "You must take off the clothes you wore in the desert: theyare dragged down by them who go into the water so clothed."And she threw from her gladly the mantle of Ancient-received-opinions shewore, for it was worn full of holes. And she took the girdle from herwaist that she had treasured so long, and the moths flew out of it in acloud. And he said, "Take the shoes of dependence off your feet."And she stood there naked, but for one white garment that clung close toher.And he said, "That you may keep. So they wear clothes in the Land ofFreedom. In the water it buoys; it always swims."And I saw on its breast was written Truth; and it was white; the sun hadnot often shone on it; the other clothes had covered it up. And he said,"Take this stick; hold it fast. In that day when it slips from your handyou are lost. Put it down before you; feel your way: where it cannot finda bottom do not set your foot."And she said, "I am ready; let me go."And he said, "No--but stay; what is that--in your breast?"She was silent.He said, "Open it, and let me see."And she opened it. And against her breast was a tiny thing, who drank fromit, and the yellow curls above his forehead pressed against it; and hisknees were drawn up to her, and he held her breast fast with his hands.And Reason said, "Who is he, and what is he doing here?"And she said, "See his little wings--"And Reason said, "Put him down."And she said, "He is asleep, and he is drinking! I will carry him to theLand of Freedom. He has been a child so long, so long, I have carried him.In the Land of Freedom he will be a man. We will walk together there, andhis great white wings will overshadow me. He has lisped one word only tome in the desert--'Passion!' I have dreamed he might learn to say'Friendship' in that land."And Reason said, "Put him down!"And she said, "I will carry him so--with one arm, and with the other I willfight the water."He said, "Lay him down on the ground. When you are in the water you willforget to fight, you will think only of him. Lay him down." He said, "Hewill not die. When he finds you have left him alone he will open his wingsand fly. He will be in the Land of Freedom before you. Those who reachthe Land of Freedom, the first hand they see stretching down the bank tohelp them shall be Love's. He will be a man then, not a child. In yourbreast he cannot thrive; put him down that he may grow."And she took her bosom from his mouth, and he bit her, so that the bloodran down on to the ground. And she laid him down on the earth; and shecovered her wound. And she bent and stroked his wings. And I saw the hairon her forehead turned white as snow, and she had changed from youth toage.And she stood far off on the bank of the river. And she said, "For what doI go to this far land which no one has ever reached? Oh, I am alone! I amutterly alone!"And Reason, that old man, said to her, "Silence! What do you hear?"And she listened intently, and she said, "I hear a sound of feet, athousand times ten thousand and thousands of thousands, and they beat thisway!"He said, "They are the feet of those that shall follow you. Lead on! makea track to the water's edge! Where you stand now, the ground will bebeaten flat by ten thousand times ten thousand feet." And he said, "Haveyou seen the locusts how they cross a stream? First one comes down to thewater-edge, and it is swept away, and then another comes and then another,and then another, and at last with their bodies piled up a bridge is builtand the rest pass over."She said, "And, of those that come first, some are swept away, and areheard of no more; their bodies do not even build the bridge?""And are swept away, and are heard of no more--and what of that?" he said."And what of that--" she said."They make a track to the water's edge.""They make a track to the water's edge--." And she said, "Over that bridgewhich shall be built with our bodies, who will pass?"He said, "The entire human race."And the woman grasped her staff.And I saw her turn down that dark path to the river.And I awoke; and all about me was the yellow afternoon light: the sinkingsun lit up the fingers of the milk bushes; and my horse stood by me quietlyfeeding. And I turned on my side, and I watched the ants run by thousandsin the red sand. I thought I would go on my way now--the afternoon wascooler. Then a drowsiness crept over me again, and I laid back my head andfell asleep.And I dreamed a dream.I dreamed I saw a land. And on the hills walked brave women and brave men,hand in hand. And they looked into each other's eyes, and they were notafraid.And I saw the women also hold each other's hands.And I said to him beside me, "What place is this?"And he said, "This is heaven."And I said, "Where is it?"And he answered, "On earth."And I said, "When shall these things be?"And he answered, "IN THE FUTURE."And I awoke, and all about me was the sunset light; and on the low hillsthe sun lay, and a delicious coolness had crept over everything; and theants were going slowly home. And I walked towards my horse, who stoodquietly feeding. Then the sun passed down behind the hills; but I knewthat the next day he would arise again.

Rocks Side Island Island Island Island Island Lead

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