I'm in my apartment in Commy China and suddenly the phone rings. I can hardly understand the person on the other end as he trys to ask for a phone number. I finally figure out he wants the number for one of the new foreign teachers at our school (although he asked for her by another name and it turns out she has a really weird past she was trying to escape by coming to China (dream, not real)). So I hang up the phone and go into my room to talk with my two teacher friends who are over.
Suddenly 3 men bust down my door and come running in. They are going to take a stack of money from me and Amy (another teacher, we'd also just been paid (for real) and I was stressing about something happening to my money cuz it was a huge wad of cash instead of into my account). So I attempt to distract the one guy by having sex with him, which ended up really messy. No matter how hard I tried though in the end I was too tired and he just jumped up and grabbed all our money. He then went back to the living room with the other two dudes and they started counting out the stacks of money. I managed to grab most of it back and they didn't care because they still had so much. I put the money I'd stolen back, from them, into my room with my friends. Then I tried to call the police but I couldn't (can't) say my address in Chinese so all efforts for help on that front were futile and the men were laughing at me. I then tried to call the school to get someone else to call the po-po for me but I couldn't get the phone to disconect from the 5-0. The men continued to laugh at me. I lunged for the window and yelled to our security guards, "help us! Help us!" in Chinese and the men tried to pull me back in but not before the security guard saw me. The men yelled at me but were interupted by the security guards coming through the broken doorway with guns (totally would never happen in China). They arrested the men and saved my friends and I.
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