I was at a party, though I knew I was there against my will. I was wandering around, observing people and just trying to kill time. I felt like I was a little kid again, trying to pass the time at daycare among all the other kids I didn't like.
The party was held in a hotel rotunda that had seen better days. The floors and furniture looked like those of the rather shabby student center at my university. There were a few lights and garlands up to serve as decorations.
Everyone seemed to have friends but me. I recognized a lot of the people there, but none of them said anything to me. I started to wonder whether they could even see me at all. Everyone wanted to me friends with this one girl, Carrie. I had never seen her before, but everyone else seemed to know her well. She had a reputation for hugging people enthusiastically and pretending to be their friends for a while... and then later insulting them or stabbing them in the back. Carrie was short, with stringy brown hair, lots of acne, and a woven hippie-style anorak.
A lot of the other girls were wearing hand-knitted sweaters in bright colors. Apparently this was a trend. All the girls were hugging each other and squealing. I saw a girl I knew from high school, Anna, and overheard her say, "I hugged Davy three times and then he asked me out twice!"
I tried to get away from all the squealing, but when I walked outside I found it was cold and snowing... and even then, there were people hugging in the snow.
Later on, the party was to culminate in some sort of performance. I followed the crowd to a place that turned out to be my old elementary school's cafeteria. There was a troupe of steel drum players onstage, and there were balloons decorating the floor. The party guests ran to the balloons, and I became scared they were going to pop. I tried to sit down, but I became uncomfortable and left the cafeteria. I sat in a classroom for hours.
By that time, the party had moved to a movie theater in the same building where everyone was watching Good Will Hunting. I entered the theater during the last part of the movie and sat down in a row by myself. Most people were talking instead of watching the movie, and a lot of people were throwing popcorn. Behind me, I heard snickering. I saw my ex-friend Jennie laughing at me because I was sitting by myself. I wanted to tell her that I had gotten in late and couldn't find any of my friends, but I figured I wouldn't waste my breath on someone I hadn't spoken to since elementary school.
Jennie, who wasn't too bright in school and generally hung out with a druggie crowd, had a new boyfriend. It was Scott, a friend of mine from high school, and easily one of the smartest and most studious people in our graduating class. I looked at the two of them oddly. Scott had his arm around Jennie, and the two of them wore exaggeratedly dreamy looks. I turned around and tried to concentrate on the movie, but it confused me because it didn't look like Good Will Hunting at all. Matt Damon was there, but he was arguing with Sean Connery. When the credits started rolling, I felt very dissatisfied.
