It all started with me following my mother's instructions to make dinner, and how to make dinner, while she went out.
She never came back.
My stepfather didn't seem the least bit concerned and told me to continue dinner. He told me he was sure that she'd be back any minute. But he knew that she wasn't coming back. He had killed her and buried her in the neighbors yard.
I set out dinner, and she still wasn't back. My stepdad explained what he had done and what the plan was while he ate. We weren't supposed to say anything until the next day, and the body was going to be fairly easy to find.
I stepped outside after we were done and took a look at the neighbors yard. It was awful. The body would definitely be easy to fine. Her hand was sticking out of the ground with it's fingers slightly curled.
We were all at the beach. I had stopped talking to my stepdad I think, but as I was going into the ocean, I passed him and said "You did it, you bastard. You fucking did it."
There has been nothing that I've said more fiercely ever before, alive or dreaming.
He tried to come after me, but there were too many people around.
We were all back at the house getting ready for the funeral or the viewing or something, and I was in the bath tub just laying there. This was supposed to be our house in Carlsbad, but the tub had a forest green shower curtain instead of the glass doors.
I was just laying there, thinking about how I'll never be able to ask her if I can borrow her clothes. They'd probably be given to me, but I didn't think I'd be able to wear them. I was letting the water run over me when I heard my mother's little "you-who" that she always used to do.
I look up and see the top of her head peeking around the shower curtain. I don't care that I'm naked at that point. I get up and open the shower curtains to see if she's really there.
She was all dressed up in a pretty dark green, full length dress. I'm sure it was probably the one we dressed her in for the funeral.
She hugged me once, then looked at me and I tried to turn the water down so I could talk to her, then I just decided to turn it off. I turned it off then turned back to her and smiled. I was still in shock about everything.
I think I said something about us thinking she was dead, but she couldn't be if she was here. All she did in response was smile and shrug.
She didn't say anything.
I just looked at her and she hugged me again, then she turned and walked through the closed door and I knew she really was gone.
I grabbed a towel and covered myself 'cause I just wanted to go into my room and cry. When I opened the bathroom door, there was a note from her there. It said something about never forgetting me and there was more there too. It was signed "Love, mom."
I picked that up and went to my room where there was another note from my stepdad. It said that I behaved fairly well when my mother was alive and that I better continue to do so.