I was in my ex-boyfriend Chris's dorm room in Ithaca, New York. I had no idea what I was doing there, or even how I had gotten there. Though in reality we haven't spoken in nearly three months, we seemed to be on somewhat friendly terms in the dream. When I arrived, it was obvious that we were both a little uncomfortable with the situation. I appeared in his doorway, and we both paused a moment before we hugged each other. It was an awkward hug, though, and Chris pulled away pretty quickly.
I asked what category my visit fit into.
Chris said, "What?"
"The category," I said. "You know, is this friendly? Is this something more? Are we reconciling? I need to know before I can come in."
Chris looked confused, but he categorized it as a friendly visit, and so I came inside.
From that point on, the dream made very little sense time-wise. Things were happening in no real order. It was as though the dream was only showing the "highlights" of my visit with him. I knew that we had to have left the dorm room eventually, but the entire dream took place in there. Perhaps the dream was more like a cheap TV show than anything else: there was only one set, and all the action had to take place there.
Not that there was any "action," in THAT sense of the word. I felt very apprehensive and anxious the whole time I was visiting Chris, as if any little thing either of us did might start a huge argument.
At one point, I was using his computer, trying to see if he had been looking at porn sites. The history command on his browser wouldn't work, though, and I figured he had blocked it somehow so that I couldn't see what websites he had been visiting.
On his bookshelf, however, was a phone book-sized volume that was apparently a printed record of every website he had ever visited. Chris was sitting on the bed, right next to the computer, but I somehow thought he wouldn't see me looking through the book. I opened it up, and it turned out to be a collection of old TV Guides. Instead of making the logical conclusion that old TV Guides wouldn't help me find out what websites Chris had visited, I persisted in looking through the book, thinking that I just wasn't reading it right.
Chris saw what I was doing and sat down next to me just as I was looking at a full page ad for NBC's Must-See TV Thursday.
I was still looking at the book when Chris's younger sister, Sarah, ran into the room. She yelled at Chris that she really wanted to go to Best Buy and use her gift card. She didn't acknowledge me. Neither did Chris's mom, who appeared in the doorway to order Chris to take Sarah to Best Buy. Nevermind that Chris doesn't have a car, Ithaca doesn't have a Best Buy, and that Chris's family lives in Rhode Island.
I didn't see the senselessness in all of this. I just kept looking at the book. And when I got done with that, I lay on the floor and read a newspaper.
