I Go To Lectures, But It's My Subconscious That Needs One
Author: Zed
I was at a seminar that took place in a small, comfortable attic room. It was about the Romans settling in Britain. The seminar leader pointed out the importance of the lie of the land and the proximity of trees when establishing a settlement. Then he started complaining about new editions of textbooks coming out so frequently. He was about to tell us how Roman meals differed from meals today, but when he consulted all his textbooks, he found they were all old editions, and left the seminar early in a huff. On a scrap of paper, he had written down what homework we should do: come up with three relevant questions about the Romans. I wrote mine down.
I was leaving a lecture. As I exited the lecture theatre, I found myself in a cathedral. My boyfriend, Bryn, stood before me, looking very tall. I noticed he was wearing his New Rock boots, and I wasn't in mine. I stepped towards him, but he moved backwards. We kept doing this. It wasn't hard for him to keep away, since, to paraphrase Anne Robinson, something was seriously hindering my progress. Eventually, he stopped moving, and we started having sex. (Yeah, yeah, good choice of location.)
Before the deed occurred, the dream shifted. I was walking through a non-existent part of Canterbury (where I go to university) to get to a lecture. I was following someone, and realised it was Gill, Bryn's ex. I didn't think she'd noticed me, but when she turned off to go to a house, she said a few words to me.
After my lecture, I was walking across campus, when I encountered her again. She was smoking a cigarette. I greeted her. She said, "Hi" and the cigarette fell out of her mouth. She managed to retrieve it, but she looked furious. I decided to ask Bryn how long she'd been smoking for.
Bryn and I were in my room with two blokes, who were about our age and were identical twins. (It was my room at home, but it was located at UKC.) One of them left, to go to the campus supermarket (which doesn't exist, but in the dream was very grotty and where the Physics building is) to buy pornographic posters.
The other one took down my posters, saying he'd store them at his house over the holidays. It was a kind gesture, but I felt annoyed all the same. I wanted him to wear my black cardigan so I helped him put it on. He enjoyed this. Then he started propositioning me. Every time he did, Bryn said, "No" but I made no response. But eventually, I was sick of him, and said, "No, I'm not interested. I have a girlfriend. Er, I mean a boyfriend. Oh, s***."
My confusion wasn't helped by the fact that Bryn had turned into my online friend Twi while I wasn't looking, and I couldn't remember who was wearing the figurative trousers in our pretend relationship. She started laughing at my expense.
Speaking of Twi, she had put a new story on her website. On the page was a picture of the two characters involved and one of her and her boyfriend Jeff. She complained that the characters had cooler hair than she did.
