I Could Have Gotten Detention For This
Stalker In Training
Vacations Don't Always Clear Your Head
Off to the Mountains
The Ones You Least Suspect
Don't Drive to Boston
I guess I'm sick of winter.
Obviously, I have family issues.
The Amazing Animated Slime Mold
Don't Think About Texas
David Sedaris Doesn't Have All the Answers
Even a Sock Puppet Can't Save Me
Upstaged
Makeshift Runway
The Death of Indie Boy
My Stalker Soulmate
Imaginary Friends
Indie Boy Falls in Love
What Are the Odds?
College In the Woods
Airport Under Attack
Bart Simpson, SUV Driver
More School Dreams
Dysfunctional Family Vacation
Three Mixed-Up Places
A Fine Educational Institution
Why I Shouldn't Go Back to High School
Please Make These High School Dreams Stop!
Slimy Fish, Blood, Bad Poetry, and Other Things of Annoyance
In Which I Get Hungry
The Weird Running Girl Cheers on the Team
Welcome Home to the Eve 6 Apartments
The Dorky Road Trip
Rich and Stupid
The Starving Shutterbug
A Wholesome Night Out
I Swear I Would Follow Anything... Just Get Me Out of Here
Not Quite as Fun as a Blue Light Special
I Challenge You To a Duel
Deja Vu, College Style
The Love Child That Wasn't
Just a Little Awkward
The Two Enthused Concertgoers
Shopgirl Beauty Queens
Why You Shouldn't Date Me
Five Beers to Forget
The Game Room Crack-Up
I Shocked the Monkey
Always Second Guessing
At the Movies
I watch too much syndicated TV.
When I go to New York, I'll know not to spend my entire visit in an elevator.
Speed Racer is Dead.
Night School
In Which I Become a Whiny Brat
Friend From Another Planet
How My Fanatically Popular Ex Became a Powerpuff Girl
Why I Don't Spend Spring Break At the Mall
More Reasons to Avoid Family Vacations
What Do I Hear When I Say I Hear the Call of the Road?
Grilled Cheese and the Magical John Updike
The Unmasked Ex
Trying to Forget Your Name
The Tribe Has Spoken
Shakespeare, Kung Fu, and the Manhattan Countryside
"So I'm standing in this rye field..." and other bad literary allusions.
Why I Avoid Family Vacations
The Forgotten Sister
Home Invasion
The Flying Train
Let's Just Be Friends
The Masochist Strikes Again
We be hangin' in sex ed, yo.
The Psychotic Psychologist
So It Goes
A Nacho Cheesier Reconciliation
The Rummage Sale That Wasn't
Ex-Boyfriend Dream #4007
Forgetful Me
How 'Bout No Longer Being Masochistic?
Birthday Bust
Big Time Shopper
Would you like fries and a hooker with that?
Every Night is Ladies' Night at The Crab Shack
Pseudo Revenge on the Ex
Holiday Party Reject Extraordinaire
The Time is Out of Joint
TV Heroines Don't Get Dumped for Gay Guys, Do They?
Holiday Cheer
The Distorted Boyfriend and Other Stories
It's the Cheesiest
Gone Snowboardin'
Laura comes home.
Going to Ithaca
Chris the Druggie

Excess Baggage
THE GREAT AMHERST MYSTERY
twice by you
Church
Demi-frère
Ice Cream Man
ZACKERIA
Druggie.
Drowning Car
sailor moon dream
Driving With Carol
ARG more BALLET!!!
Chinese Ambassador
Nelly, A Big Escape and My Grandparents
Wedding
In and Out of Lucidity
Fighting the Darkness
beltane
naked flying in mall
the auburn, my tranny lover, and the shortest distance between two points is a straight line
The Fuzzbuster & A Phone Call From Mya
scary black dog
A Trip, a Battle, a Clue, and a Hotel
Wild Animals and Woods
trapped in cage

Author: Frannyglass





My best friend Emily and I were moving into a new apartment, though it wasn't the loft we'd picked out in the spring. We still planned to move into the loft for the fall, but we moved into a new complex callled the "Eve 6 Apartments" for the interim period before our loft was ready.



When we entered our new apartment, we couldn't believe that we were able to afford such a nice place. Not only was the apartment two stories high, each bedroom had a private full bath and a balcony. I went into my bedroom on the second floor and found that it was already furnished for me. The owner of the apartment complex had found out something about each of the residents and accesorized the rooms accordingly. I had a bunch of art kits in my bedroom. One of them involved arranging different colored plastic dots to make smiley faces. This amused me greatly. I had all sorts of time to do artwork because I hardly had to move anything into the room: most of my stuff was there already. I was amazed.



Emily and I met in the hallway and got all ecstatic about our new place. We couldn't get over the fact that we were actually living here.



We soon came to realize that we had another roommate. It was my boyfriend, Adam. In the dream, though, Emily didn't know that Adam and I had gotten together. We had to go to great pains to keep it from her, and even when he and I were alone together we acted like we weren't a couple. Emily didn't like Adam at all and kept insulting him to his face and then complaining about him to me. He lived in a basement room. It looked like a carpeted dungeon.



Emily said she was going upstairs to take a shower. I said I would do the same. When I stepped into my shower, I saw that all my toiletries were already there. This surprised me so much that I forgot to wash off. I just turned the water on, then turned it off again. And then I wondered why my hair was dry so soon after I turned on my hair dryer.



When I came back downstairs, Emily's sister Christina was moving into another bedroom. I started wondering if we shouldn't all just live there instead of the loft. I talked to Emily about it, weighing the pros and cons. The only downside was that we would have to drive to campus, and for some reason this really bothered both of us. We decided we would move out of the Eve 6 Apartments before fall semester began.



I headed to the living room and turned on the big-screen TV. We had some fancy cable program that gave us hundred of channels. There were almost ten CNN channels alone. There was CNN Family, which edited out all the "bad" news. There was CNN In-Depth, which extended each news story to forty-five minutes. There was also the CNN Old School Network, which showed reruns of network news shows from decades past. One channel was going to be showing all of ABC's news stories about Muppets from the year 1971. Another channel was going to be showing all of CBS's news stories about Yugoslavia from 1969. I decided to skip those channels.



I heard a cry from outside and jumped up from my spot on the couch to see what was going on. Outside Emily's room, a donkey was caught in the fence. I asked her where the donkey had come from.



"It came with the apartment," she told me.



The donkey was making terrible honking noises. I was afraid it was going to die. Eventually, though, my friend Cammy appeared and helped the donkey free itself from the fence. I was relieved.



I went back inside, where Adam met me and took me to his dungeon-like room. He but a blindfold on me and said he was going to keep me down there with him. I said I wouldn't mind as long as he started acknowledging that he was my boyfriend.

Adam and Eve High School

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