When the dream started, I was conscious of the knowledge that I was pregnant. I went home to talk to my mom about my situation, and she insisted that I get an abortion. At first, I thought that might be the best option. But then I started thinking about all the moral and emotional conflicts that came with such a thing, and I began questioning my mom's decision.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in The Max, that stupid restaurant from Saved by the Bell. My mom and sister came in and sat down at a table with me. My mom whispered, "I made a doctor's appointment for you, Laurie," and left.
My sister began talking to me about school. Then, she said, "I know you had an abortion, Laurie. Mama told me."
I said, "I haven't had one yet. I don't even know if I'm going to."
Then my mom came back with a tray of milkshakes and my sister and I had to pretend that I'd had an abortion.
Later, I was talking to my grandparents in a hotel room (the same one I saw them at last weekend when my family met up with my grandparents in Alabama), and my grandma kept saying, "You know, Laurie, there were more options than abortion."
And I kept saying, "But I haven't HAD an abortion!"
During the dream, I kept thinking, "Well, as long as I'm pregnant, at least I won't get my period." Yet I kept having to go to the bathroom to put in a tampon.
The next part of the dream had me in a guy's bedroom, which was an exact replica of MY bedroom (girly Tori Amos posters and sparkly red desk chair and bed sheets with little clouds on them. Hardly a guy's room). The guy looked somewhat like Chris, but I knew he wasn't. He was a distorted version of Chris: the face was basically the same, but a little longer. His voice was a little deeper. It was really creeping me out. I had no idea why I was in the guy's room or how I had gotten there. Apparently he and I knew each other pretty well, though. He was sitting at the computer, reading his e-mail, and I knelt on the floor next to him. He suddenly wrapped his arm around me and said, "I love you, Laurie."
I didn't say anything.
"Look, I know you have a boyfriend," he said, "but I just had to tell you that." Then he leaned over and kissed me very quickly. I didn't kiss back.
I kept thinking that he was going to try to go farther with me, but he didn't. He was very unaffectionate the rest of the time I was at his house. Which was a long time. He had me sleep in his bed overnight while he slept on the floor, and then the next day we hung around and talked. He seemed really intent on being good friends with me, even though I still had no idea who he was.
