I am an insomniac, and have very strange dreams when I do sleep. This particular night I was staying at a friend's house. The girl whose house I was at, I'll call her "Brittney," had been through a very traumatic experience with me recently, during which an older man who we knew and trusted ended up betraying that trust and trying to force Brittney to service him in more ways than one.
I am four years older than her, and am something like a sister to her. We were still trying to recooperate from the experience, and were sleeping in the same bed in her living room. Brittney was sound asleep next to me, hogging the blankets as usual and snoring. It didn't really bug me, because I was wakeful and staring up at the ceiling.
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DREAM:
Suddenly I felt something overtake my body. There was something new about me. I felt - - hairy and masculine. And as I turned my head to look at Brittney, I realized that I was feeling like a predator. And very very very sexually turned on. In fact, if I had had a penis I would have thought that I had an erection.
And somewhre in the inside of my head I knew that it was wrong. I knew that it wasnt me. I began to come onto Brittney. I slowly overtook her and felt her beneath me.
I was clawing at my own brain tissue, trying to get out of myself. I felt as though I was slipping away from myself. I was being driven out of my own body. I forced myself off of her and tried to sit up.
Then I said outloud: "Saraaaaa....don't try to get away from me. You know I'll win." It was his voice, the voice of the older man inside of me. Or was I inside of him?
I looked at my left hand being slowly raised in front of my face, and saw that it was hairy and muscly. It was his hand. And I saw my right hand, with a large knife in it.
"If I have to kill you from the inside out, I will do it." I said outloud. And I took the knife with my right hand and slashed my left hand open. I felt my hand begin to bleed, it was sting horribly. And then I leaned over and spilled the blood all over Brittney's T-Shirt. And I began to laugh.
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REALITY: I woke up laughing, and then bit it back. I looked over at Brittney, who was sound asleep still. It was morning. It took me a while to tell where the dream began and reality ended. BUt I had not actually touched her. And my left hand was bleeding from where I dug myself with my fingernails.
