Here I am in a doorway, and he is wearing a green shirt. I see it come closer and closer and we move toward each other like water to sand. I press my face against this green shirt, close my eyes to a familiar smell. We just lie there and I kiss him and he kisses me, and all I remember is the writing on this green shirt, gold writing, it says something in Hebrew I don't understand. I don't want to understand.
I keep thinking will ask him why. Why. And Where will this go? And maybe Do you feel this way really? But I don't, I never do. He holds me and I hold him and I know there is something missing, something that will make the two of us stay the way we'd been before. I don't know why I came here, I don't know why he took me, and I don't know where I will go when this is all over again. For a few moments I pretend I don't care, his mouth against mine, the golden hair, the scent of everything.
But inside this green shirt, inside this strong chest, inside this beating heart I hear where I press my head there is something missing. I wake up, curled into a small ball, emptiness in my arms and on my tongue.
