im dreaming about him again. he's so often in my dreams. it's like this one fortune cookie i once read. look fer the dream that keeps coming back. i've had this dream before. but a lil different. but anyway. we're in california. i want to spend the rest of my life there. my grandfathers house is like a priceless museum. untouchable. we gotta climb this mountain to get up there. and he's below me. always pushing me further. always making sure i don't fall. we finally reach the top and it's all very gorgeous. and there i am. i've got this white dress on like i'm getting married and he's in a black suit. he looks so right. it's like it's our wedding right there but it's not. so we wander around this museum. holding hands and stopping to kiss. my dad is there. he sees us. hes looking at the furniture. he smiles at me and walks away. like hes proud. we make our way down this long hall. down some stairs into the basement. its really a museum down there. velvet ropes and all sorts of people. and museum folk who wear funny hats and are asking fer our tickets. my grandfather lives here i say. you can't touch eachother they say. it's against the rules. we can't touch eachother. no holding hands no hugging - no kissing. the temptation is there even in my dream. so we do it anyway. we piss the world off with our affection. and we get kicked out but atleast we are incredibly happy. this is just a dream i tell him. i know he says. and i wake up.
