"Caffeine is all that's keeping me awake right now and all it serves to do is add a tiny edge to my anger. (Few more lines I can't remember) If you're readingt his, I'm dead. (A few lines with instructions about the computer disk he sent me) (Somethings to remember, written in black in with some in red marker: mentions some important fonts and words I think are passwords to things) Remember, I loved you both. (Few more lines on how he's sorry he never told me sooner.) (The letter flips over here, it covers only half the page on the other side, he didn't sign it.)"
And all I wanted while reading that was for him to say my name. To have the letter addressed to me, or howabout "Remember, Kel, ..."
But no.
We'd watched him die twice (during the course of the dream) and he was dressed perfectly in his baby blue hat, the bright red sweater, the white t shirt, the blue jeans right down to the shoes on his feet.
We'd watched him die twice.
The second time it was really quite graphic. I didn't think he was dead, I joked to Carol that he should have tossed me his hat, I really wanted it. Secretly inside I wanted him to escape but he was pretty beat up. For the second time (that I'd seen) he'd thrown himself through a glass window to escape.
I pop the disk into my computer. A program similar to Napster appears. He's got it set up to download ten things onto my computer. It starts to download. One is a 3minute45 second file of his voice speaking, it is slow to download so I can only listen to the first few seconds of it. How nice to hear his voice again. The file is titled "Kathleen" and somehow I know in my dream that that is the girl who he was with, not who he loved.
The songs take a while to download. It is not all songs. Some of them are zip files, some text files, the fonts he mentioned in the letter. I read the letter over and over and over, trying to memorize it.
I show it to Carol. She is...upset that he wrote me. She never knew. Now the reasons for our open animosity towards each other are justified.
There is another guy there, a friend of his. He looks like Justin Timberlake but whether it is him or not, I don't know. I show him the letter. He holds me close while he reads it. I put my arm around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder while he reads "Remember, I loved you both."
This Justin LookALike turns his face towards mine, we are so close that our lips brush. He doesn't like this and it is obvious so I take my letter and run up the street. A friend of mine lives up there.
I go and show her the letter. She cries with me. I go in the house, my family friend morphs into the town gossip. She pretends to be upset.
This pisses me off, she never knew the guy. I take my letter and leave the house and it morphs into a scene with my Aunt and 2 cousins. They went to 2 funerals with Cub Scouts and my Aunt is discussing funeral etiquette with them.
I walk down the hill back to Carols Florida House (will explain in a minute) and a kid on a bicycle powered by a small engine goes by. (The hill is that steep)
I get back into the house and Carol says to me "Ginger Lily is here, she wants to.."
I cut her off saying "Ginger Lily, Gregs mom, she wants to read the letter. "
Like myself, she wants to know it is real.
I go look at the computer, the files are almost done downloading.
(At this point, IRL, the phone rings and wakes me up. I try to go back to sleep and back into the dream but I can't, it is to late)
So I never got to hear what he had to say. I never knew if the letter was real. But I woke up feeling that he was alive. "If you are reading this, I'm dead." but he wasn't. Because if he was dead, who sent the CD and letter to me? And it was him. Unmistakeable handwriting on the letter, and on the disk.
Before all this. Way before.
Carol and I...and this girl, Kathleen? Some how he trapped her, she escaped. And he was wanted.
Twice Carol and I found him twice the police did also and it was a show down. Twice he escaped by throwing himself through a glass window. The first time we were upset, but he wasn't dead. We found him out in the country.
The second time we were at a mall and a head hunter or something recognized him. I tried to get help but Mall Security wouldn't beleeve me.
He ran out of the store, right by me, he smelled so good. Carol was crying. He dove through the glass, blood everywhere, skin torn. He landed on a moving belt of some sort, and fell onto the floor in a heap. The cops went after him, alarms going off, somehow he managed to run away. I only caught a glimpse of the pain in his eyes as he turned around to look at us before he left.
After that the dream morphs into Carol and I driving to Florida to make ourselves feel better. She has a house there. I have 15 bucks I want to spend at Disney land.
It is at Carols Florida House that I get the package with the letter and the disk.
See, he'd have to be alive. How else would he know where to send it? And it wasn't addressed or stamped, it was in a padded, brown envelope with my name on it.
Kel.
In that easy to recognize writing.
[[All in all, a very..odd dream and I will kill whoever had the gall to call me before 9am and wake me up]]
