The background and people were a quite colorful mix. As vivid as a video game, imagine that. The people were a mix of races, and not limited to human. The scarce crowd had an overall friendly or bored feel, but i couldn't really focus on them. My exboyo JP shows up at a distance, and starts trying to joke and saying things that get me incredibly angry. I tell him off and in my rage i rush him (in slow mo) and pick up an oval phone and threatren to kill him with it. It worked because i had it pressed up against his neck and pressed him to the disadvantage of arching back over the sink counter. I was able to read the fear in his eyes. strange, but they were light brown, not the green-blue ones i remember. He also had long curlish reddish hair. That's when i realize that it was john. i let him up (still referring to him as JP) and kicked him out of the room, and he was JP again the second i backed off.
ANALYSIS: the background and some of the people milling about were definitely influenced by final fantasy ten. its a beautifully done game, but one of my best friends and my boyfriend (yello) are way too addicted to it. i've been passively affected by it, by osmosis or something.
i am starting to notice a trend: boyfriends can't really show up in my dreams, but ex ones can. and apparently i can still relate john to JP in certain areas. i have play-fought with john more, i guess, and maybe i think i could see a more honest emotion out of him than i could ever with JP.
usually i'm ineffectual with rage in dreams, but this time was a success. i think because my body does seek to yell or move violently, but in sleep it can't. This carries over into my dreams by makign me feel impotent in that area. the only reason i felt success was when i was pressing my advantage, tensing my muscles is something my body can do in its sleep.
i do not know why i dreamed of him. maybe i was thinking too much about trying to visit his parents, but avoiding him, or maybe visiting his best friend at work while still avoiding him. or maybe i thought about the lack of true friendship with john, how i feel betrayed by some of the guys. i don't honestly know. i've been full of a good deal of anxiety lately , though not as bad as at school, and that could add to it too.
