First, some background info - otherwise the dream won't seem to have much meaning.
When i was eight (i am now 16) i got a crush on this girl, called Hannah. I think in the space of about half a year, i fell in love with her... i know i was only eight, but still. I know defnitely that by the time i was 11 or so i *was* in love with her. This lasted for eight years, and i never told her... i managed to conceal my feelings because i knew i didn't have a chance, even though... sometimes we talked and seemed to sorta get along. A week before leaving school, i told her that i had been totally madly obsessively in love with her for the past eight years - just as a release.
About two months before i told Hannah how i felt, i made a female friend and we became *very* close... but the circumstances we were in sorta ruled out the possibility of a relationship. But i kept feeling things... Then about two weeks after i told Hannah, *she* (the friend) told me she had fallen in love with me (five months ago from the 20th, oct). From then on, i let myself feel what i felt for her, and i fell deeply in love... more than i ever did love Hannah, it was a totally different feeling... and *she* loved me just as much. She is everything to me. But there are complications that make it very hard, and we have to keep it a secret to everyone in our real lives, which gets me depressed sometimes. Read my diary for info about that.
But... i still love Hannah. I think i do, just as much as i always did. It is just maybe overshadowed by my love for *her*. But i don't know if i love Hannah simply because i wont let myself not love her - because i want to believe that love can never die. But it feels wrong to love Hannah, and be *in* love with *her*. And maybe... maybe i love Hannah more than i think. I'm confused.
So anyway, here is the dream. The 'love of my life (tm)' doesn't feature in this dream, so 'she' is always Hannah.
I was in college, which i recently started, as did Hannah, but different classes in real life. And the class i was taking was either... art, or child development, i can't remember exactly - i think the latter. It was a class full of girls, about 15 of them, including Hannah... and i seemed to fit in better with them than i ever did in my previous classes, and it just felt... nice :). Anyway, the lesson goes on for a while, and i am just talking to them and laughing and stuff... something that never really happened at school, or at college now.
Suddenly, we are outside... It's in college in the same lesson, but we are on a grassy bank that actually in real life is part of my old school... and the same bank that was featured in a dream about *her* (the love of my life:)) just before she told me she had fallen in love with me. Anyway, on this bank there is a lot more of us than there was before, and there are boys too. I am sorta just on my own amongst others, like i always was... wandering. It's a sunny day though, and i lay down on the grass bank... there's a really happy atmosphere. Then i get up, and move closer to Hannah, not *close*... just nearer. Then she gets up and lays down right next to me, she's wearing a white dress, and being a beautiful sunny day it gives her this... aura almost. As she lays down she says 'Hi!' in that happy voice she always had... I feel all happy and relaxed and warm, and we start talking. I don't know what about, but it wasn't in a flirty way or anything... But she is so happy and joyful like always, and it's just amazing talking to her. It just felt close and special... i was sooo relaxed and happy. And she's smiling at me.
Someone whispered to me to ask her out, but i didn't... i didn't want to.
